Sunday, April 22, 2007
Short Story
For my creative writing assignment i plan to base my fictional plot on my past experience in high school golf. I played varsity golf in high school for a team that took 4th and 3rd in state my junior and senior years repectively. The Minnesota Class AA state tournament was an extremely competitve tourny, with pressure i have never before experienced. They say golf is ninety percent mental. In my short story i plan on taking my reader on a journey through the mental ups and downs in a typical pressure-packed round at the state tournament.
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I'm a golfer myself, and i played varsity golf in high school as well so I think it's good I got your paper! Golf is definately a mental game, and by describing what was going through your head during the tournament was really good at showing that. I liked how you brought in the other three players you were paired with, because that kind of competition can affect your game as well. You described the first tee off well, that is probably the most nerve-wracking shot and I liked how you described what was going through your head when the other players shot and when you did.
I also liked how you kept putting the time in, it gave the story something unique. Maybe you could carry that through to the end because you kind of lost that in the last couple pages.
The way you ended the story had your father there and how you owed it all to him, and that was a good ending. Maybe you could add your father in more in the story, because you only briefly mentioned him in the beginning and then not until the last page. I really liked the part when you said he gave you the freedom to make your own choices, and then you hit the great shot.
Overall, I think the story is well written, and I really enjoyed reading it since I also love golf! You gave a good mental picture of a person's experience in a big golf tournament like that. Good job!
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